Dreaming Only Gets You So Far

I have finally gotten serious about doing this. I have dreamed and loved for so long...but I figured enough is enough. Dreaming only gets you so far. So...here I go!! Check it out. I'm starting to adventure. Anyone interested in getting shots done for free, let me know. If you like the pictures and want to order...that's the cost! If you don't care for it...then no obligation! Click the link below to see some samples of what I have done so far. Much more to come!!! Deborah Ann Photography

Feelings of Failure

I'm struggling with feelings of failure...yet in my heart I know I did the right thing. Alissa has been without a binky for a week now. The week started out as any typical person would expect- extra night time cuddling, and some night time crying. The first night was typical...a 1/2 hour of crying. But she made it and slept through the night. Day 2 her nap...only about 15 or so minutes and then for bed the 2nd night...silence. Not a peep. But, from there- things got progresivly worse. I would have to pretend to fall asleep in her rocking chair to get her to settle down and relax. Then she would wake up in the night crying and wouldn't go back to sleep. One time this last week she wouldn't stop screaming at 2:30am so I brought her in our bed to sleep. Habits were beginning to form that had NEVER been there before..and needless to say they weren't good habits. The list kept getting bigger and she became more troublesome and unhappy. I had been struggling with the idea of giving her back her binky but I didn't know if it would be good to do so.

Last night, after talking with my mother in law, I decided to give it back to her. She slept so soundly and peacefully. My decision was weighed on this...Alissa has had super smooth transitions into doing everything. When it was time to go from the bottle to a cup..that was no big deal to her. That transition happened in one afternoon and she never looked back. When I weaned her from nursing (at 18 months), that happened in one weekend and she was completely okay with it. She totally forgot about it. The only major transition I had a "problem" with was having her go to sleep on her own. That took 2 nights of crying. But, by night 3...all was quiet and has been ever since. Taking the binky away just didn't seem right...nor did it feel right in my gut. She doesn't carry it around with her all day. it's just strictly for nap and bed time.

For the last week, Alissa has been crying when she wakes up. Her moods during the day are terrible. This morning...she was a totally different child. She woke up talkign to herself (as ususal) and all smiles. This is the girl I know.

I feel like I failed at a task..but I just don't think she's ready. My gut says this is okay.

My husband brought up some valid points... She's almost potty trained (we're in pull ups full time), she knows 80% of her ABC's and is starting to recognize them on paper, she knows how to count to 2, knows what 2 really means and how many they are, and knows that 7,8,9 go together in counting order. He said don't feel bad if this is taking her a bit longer because no two kids are the same.

I do understand and I agree...just hard struggling with the inner feelings...

Bye-Bye Binky

*sigh* Tonight I decided that it was time. Alissa had quite a rough day as it was. She went to bed early, around 7:30, because she was just too over tired. She kept asking for it and each time I would tell her the binky has gone bye-bye. I rocked her for a bit as usual. Then kissed her goodnight. OH BOY. commence screaming. *sigh*. Alas after a 1/2 hour...quiet. It's been quiet for about an hour now and I'm praying she'll sleep through the night. Bye-Bye Binky....

Through the Years

It's amazing how much we've changed over the years. I'm so blessed. Here's a snapshot of my family over the last 6 years. Wishing you all a VERY blessed holiday season...and Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband on the 27th!

Birthday Girl

My darling, Alissa- you are now two. I do not know where time has gone. I appreciate you more and more each day. You test my patience, as most children do, but my love for you still continues to grow. For your 2nd birthday, we did a lot of the same stuff as the year you were born. This wasn’t planned, but it was a nice coincidence it worked out. You opened your birthday presents at the same time you were born. A few weeks before you were born, I made a huge turkey dinner. We did the same this year. As the turkey was cooking…I remembered that we had done this before. You are a special girl and the love of my life. Every day you talk more and want to explore. You are a super big helper. You always pick up your toys after you are done and I don’t even have to ask. You help me unload the dishwasher and with each piece of silverware you pick up, “Here Mommy”. You also are super inquisitive about cooking. You love to watch me cook and when you wanna see what’s going on…”see” you say. I’m blessed beyond measure to have a beautiful girl like you. I’m looking forward to seeing you grow and spending each day with you as you get bigger. I love you with all my heart…and NEVER forget that.

Sing Along

So Alissa now knows how to get on my vanity chair and turn on the radio. Well it's always set to KLove, and she turned it on. If We Are The Body by Casting Crowns was on. She's watching herself in the mirror and this is what she's singing...

"OHHHHHHHHHHH Bobby.... OH OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHH Bobby.......OHHHHHHHHH"

(the real interpretation:
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way)

I say- " YOu singing to Jesus"
Alissa- "Yup. OH Bobby....OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHH Bobby..."

ha ha! I love this girl to pieces.

Moments I Cherish

I was talking about Alissa today to the bank teller. Everything about her made me smile. We were talking about words and what she means but how it comes out sounding so very different from the actual words. I thought I’d share because I want to remember these moments forever. But, incase I forget there here on paper =)

Snowman- Noman
Socks- Skas
Color-Dawckoo
Cracker- Cawckoo (it’s often that Daddy has to call me so I can de-code over the phone during the day. Many words sound a like in her dictionary)
Donut- Dadoo-Oh
Scared- Scaid
Potty- Bobby
Santa- Ho Ho
Poopies- Stinky or Stinkies
Please- Peas (or she signs)
More- Mow (or she signs)
Alissa- I See ( that’s what she calls herself)
Medicine- Maymace

There are so much more, but these brighten my heart. Her little ways are so precious and I love her to death!